


Vampirism: It's a Family Thing

by sabby1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday, Character Turned Into Vampire, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Fluff, M/M, Magic, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21920287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabby1/pseuds/sabby1
Summary: Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane hated birthdays. More specifically, he hated his own. They reminded him with unerring cruelty once a year that he was getting older.This would have not been quite as much a problem if the same applied to everyone he loved.It didn’t."I can't be an arrowhead in a box."OR The one where Alec decides to become a vampire and has to break it to the whole family.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis & Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 47
Kudos: 311
Collections: Hunter's Moon Fic Recs, SHBingo





	Vampirism: It's a Family Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prompt fill for TobytheWise's [Shadowhunter Bingo](https://shadowhunterbingo.tumblr.com/)
> 
> The square filled was Vampire!Alec.

“No balloons.”

“Oh, come on, Alec, don’t be a spoilsport.”

“No cake, no party, no presents. Nothing, Izzy. I mean it.”

Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane hated birthdays. More specifically, he hated his own. They reminded him with unerring cruelty once a year that he was getting older.

This would have not been quite as much a problem if the same applied to everyone he loved.

It didn’t.

It didn’t apply to his husband, Magnus Lightwood-Bane, the High Warlock of Alicante, several hundred years old and counting while he still looked not a day older than thirty.

Alec would turn forty this week. He looked like it, too.

He didn’t look bad. His hair was still mostly black with only a few gray strands here and there. He was in good shape for someone who spent eight hours a day in meetings or behind a desk.

This was probably due to the fact that he spent the rest of his time dealing with two college age boys still living at home, one of whom was a warlock like his papa and the other one a Shadowhunter like his dad.

Truthfully, Rafael was a Shadowhunter by blood only. Alec had fought tooth and nail to make it so, and he’d won that fight.

His oldest was half-way through his masters at Julliard. The goal was Swan Lake at the Palais Garnier in Paris. Nothing would get in the way of that.

Max was a little more difficult. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, but it involved studying chemistry at NYU and magic with his papa and plenty of violent explosions within the warded walls of their apothecary.

It had been so much easier when Max had been five and determined to be a pirate. Then again, chasing after him every time he had accidentally turned himself into a bat hadn’t been a joy, either.

“Come on, Alec. At least let us do family dinner and cake.”

His sister’s voice on the other end of the line dragged Alec back to the present. He moved his gaze from the photo of Magnus and their boys in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa two years ago.

“We can do family dinner, but no cake,” he said resolutely.

Isabelle huffed. “I don’t see what the problem is. It’s not like I’m going to be the one baking.”

“Just drop it, Izzy.”

“I swear you’re getting worse every year.”

He was. Of course, he was. Every year was a year closer to him being gone. It drove him nuts.

“I gotta get back to work,” he said calmly. “Talk to you later?”

“Fine. But don’t think I’m done pestering you about this. I love you.”

She made it sound like a threat.

“Love you, too,” he drawled. “Bye.”

She blew a raspberry. “Bye.”

Alec hung up with an eye roll. 

Izzy should be able to understand. How she didn’t was beyond him. She was married to a vampire. Maybe she just pretended not to notice that Simon didn’t get older.

Then again, Izzy had barely changed over the years. She was still as beautiful as she’d always been with her long black hair and big brown eyes.

Unlike Alec himself, who was starting to show his mileage in the lines on his face.

He banged his head back against his chair and tried not to think about it.

It was impossible.

He was turning forty. Ten years and he’d be fifty. Another ten…

_Half the time goes by, suddenly you’re wise, in the blink of an eye, 67 is gone…_

And there it was, in his head, mocking him. That stupid song that had been giving him heartburn since the first time he’d heard it. Fuck. Twenty years ago, at least.

Five for Fighting. 100 Years. The singer had died a couple years ago.

He couldn’t.

Alec grabbed his phone and sent a text to his parabatai and his brother-in-law.

**Meet me at Taki’s.** **1 pm.** **Today. We need to talk.**

He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. One of the warlock deputies on staff opened a portal that got him through to the New York Institute. A mundane rideshare got him from there to Taki’s Diner.

It was a relief to see that Maia wasn’t working today. The werewolf manning the counter was a young kid, barely twenty if that. Light brown skin, big honey eyes, shaggy mop of multi-colored hair. Cute. Rafael’s type.

Alec shook off the thought, ordered coffee and a sandwich, and waited for Simon and Jace to show up.

They walked in at the same time, bickering with each other. Twenty-odd years, most of which they’d been friends, and they still never stopped bickering. They looked like father and son now. They would probably keep going until Jace looked like Simon’s great-grandfather. Until Jace dropped backwards into his grave.

The thought roiled Alec’s stomach like greasy Chinese food.

Losing his parabatai had been the worst pain in his life. It had only lasted for a few minutes when it had happened at Lake Lyn, but it had devastated Alec to the point that he couldn’t breathe.

That had been twenty years ago. A lot had happened since then.

“Are you okay?” Jace asked, skipping right past hello as he slid into the booth.

“Yeah, you look a little off,” Simon agreed, sitting down next to Jace.

Apparently, bickering took an immediate backseat to whatever expression was on Alec’s face.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” said Jace at the same time that Simon said, “Bullshit.”

“Okay,” he admitted. “I’m not.”

His breath came cold and stuttering out of his lungs and his stomach wouldn’t stop cramping. He wasn’t thinking clearly, and he knew he wasn’t thinking clearly, but that wouldn’t stop him from doing what needed to be done.

“I can’t be an arrowhead in a box.”

Jace laughed. Simon blinked. They looked at each other and exchanged a quick conversation in eye-rolls, shrugs, and brow twitches.

Alec growled in frustration.

“Magnus has a box. He keeps souvenirs of the people he loved who died. I can’t be an arrowhead in that box.”

“Okay,” Simon said slowly.

Jace moved one hand under the table and rubbed over the spot where his parabatai rune sat high on his stomach.

“He’s freaking out,” he said bluntly.

“I’m not freaking out.”

“Sure,” Simon said, “because freaking out is too mild a term. Dude, you _look_ stressed, and you sound like you’re a second away from going Falling Down on us.”

“What?”

“Movie reference,” Jace explained with an annoyed hand wave. “Doesn’t matter, but Simon’s right. You’re coming apart at the seams. Why?”

“I just told you.”

“Alec,” Jace said with a nervous grin. “You always knew this was going to happen. What’s different now?”

“Now it’s real,” Alec snapped. “It’s real, and it’s here.”

Jace snorted. “Come on, Alec. This is ridiculous. You’re freaking out over nothing.”

Simon’s brows crinkled. “Is this about your birthday?”

“This one and every single one after that. I’m not a kid anymore. I can’t push it away or pretend it’s not happening. My husband and one of my boys are immortal, and I am not.”

Alec clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. His decision had been made before he ever stepped through the portal from Alicante to New York.

“I won’t leave them.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Who says anything about leaving them? Come on, Alec.”

“I’m forty. Another blink of an eye and I’ll be sixty. Then eighty. Then dead.”

“Alec.”

“No.” Alec snarled at Jace. “You don’t understand. You couldn’t. I hope to the Angel you never have to.” 

Simon cleared his throat. “What are you saying, Alec?”

Alec took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled it slowly. Then he took another one for good measure and let it out just as slowly.

“I want you to turn me into a vampire,” he said to Simon before he turned to Jace, “and I’m hoping you will give me your angel blood to make me a Daylighter.”

The kitchen noises from behind the counter filled the tense silence between them with jarring clang and clatter.

“You’re not serious,” Jace rumbled.

Simon didn’t say anything.

Alec looked across the table into his parabatai’s eyes and squared his shoulders.

“All those years ago, when Lilith possessed you, the demon asked me: if I could only have one, you or Magnus, who would I choose?”

He felt the hurt from his parabatai rune like a stab in the gut.

Alec knew Jace still carried the guilt like a worn blanket. Lilith’s demon had said nothing but the truth to hurt them. Back then if Alec had been forced to answer the question, he would have chosen Jace. 

“The answer is not the same as it was then.”

Jace gritted his teeth. His clenched fist sat like a rock on the table.

“You’re serious.”

Simon still didn’t say anything.

Alec sighed. He had expected Simon to be the vocal one. Simon had only turned one person for as long as he’d been a vampire, and it had only happened because someone else had killed the girl and buried the body to force the transition.

“I’ll understand if either of you say no, but it’s not going to change my decision.”

Jace snorted.

“Just so we’re clear about what you want here. You’re going to walk away from being a Shadowhunter. Not just _a_ Shadowhunter, but you’re giving up your position as the damn Consul of the Clave.

“You’re going to put both of us through hell breaking the parabatai bond. You’ll force Simon to bite you and suck you dry and feed you his blood, binding you two together for nothing short of eternity.

“Then you’re going to force the people who love you to bury you and hope that you come back all right which means being a blood-sucking monster – no offense, Simon – and on top of all that, you want me to let you suck me dry and pump me full of vampire venom so you can walk around in daylight?”

Jace looked ready to lunge across the table. Simon placed a hand on his shoulder. Jace shrugged it off. Simon sighed and rested his hands in front of him.

“Have you talked to Magnus about this?”

Alec set his jaw. “Not yet.”

All of Jace’s points were valid and painful, but it was the only way. There was no magic spell to simply grant Alec immortality. Magnus couldn’t live without his magic. The last time he’d had to, it had almost torn them apart for good.

Jace scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Simon pursed his lips and stared at his hands lying flat on the table.

“Talk to him,” he said quietly. “After that, if you still want to go through with it, I’ll do it.”

“What the hell?” Jace whirled around and smacked Simon’s arm. “Are you losing it, too? You’re not going to… I’m not letting you… That’s not going to happen!”

Simon warded off another threatening fist. “It’s not your choice to make, Jace.”

“It’s mine,” Alec said firmly, “and nothing you say or do will change my decision.”

He rose from the table just as the cute werewolf came over with the sandwich Alec had ordered.

“You can give that to him,” Alec said, pointing at Jace while he threw down a couple twenties on the table. Then he told Simon, “I’m going to talk to Magnus. I’ll call you after.”

Alec didn’t look back when he heard Jace’s angry snarl behind him.

“Alec! Get that thing out of my face. Simon, let me up. I’m not gonna… Simon, move!”

Alec didn’t hear Simon’s answer before the door closed behind him.

He walked the six blocks to the nearest subway station. His parabatai rune kept flaring up the whole way.

Jace was pissed and Alec couldn’t blame him, but his parabatai didn’t understand. He couldn’t.

Clary had come back a little more than a year after the angels had forced her to leave the Shadow World. They were married, they had children, and now they were both growing older together.

Shit, Clary had just called three days ago to make sure Alec and Magnus would be able to be there for Stevie’s high school graduation ceremony next May because she needed to confirm the number of seats for their ginormous clan as early as possible. Where the fuck had the time gone?

Alec shook his head, pulled out his phone, and texted Magnus.

**I need to talk to you. Can you meet me now?**

It took less than a minute for his phone to chime with the reply.

**Where r u?**

Alec looked up. He was standing with his free hand wrapped around a pole in the middle of a crowded subway car, going uptown. Alec laughed.

**LOL. On the 6 train, losing my mind. Meet me in front of the NYI?**

**R u ok?**

**I’ll be fine.**

By the time Alec arrived on the wide-open lawn in front of the New York Institute, Magnus was already there. Alec had both arms full of flustered husband before he could say anything.

“Are you okay? What happened? Is it the Clave? Is it Jace? Ugh, it’s Clary, isn’t it?”

In between words Magnus had kissed him hello, checked him over visually, hugged him, then checked him over again with magic for good measure.

“I’m fine,” Alec said quickly. “Everything’s fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“You said you were losing your mind.”

Alec cringed. “Bad choice of words. But I did say LOL first.”

“Nobody actually laughs when they use that.”

“I did.”

“Alexander, please, just tell me what’s going on, so I can call our boys back and tell them their fathers are not getting sucked into another Shadow World disaster.” 

“Oh, Angel, no. It’s nothing like that. Why would you make them think that?”

Magnus’s kohl-rimmed eyes widened with a significant glare. He didn’t have to say anything.

Over the years, Alec had let them get sucked into plenty of Shadow World disasters. In his defense, it had usually been Clary’s fault.

“Fair point,” he admitted under his husband’s continued glare, “but that’s not what this is about.”

He quickly texted Rafael and Max that it was a false alarm, everything was fine, and they had nothing to worry about. His phone buzzed with sassy come-backs in the form of emoji strings in under thirty seconds.

Magnus responded to the group text with his own emoji string that ended with a very pointed angel emoji followed by a purple devil slapping its forehead.

“Very funny,” Alec groused.

Magnus looked up from his phone with a facetious smile and kissed the air in his direction.

The silly little gesture struck him like an arrow to the chest. A million years could pass and Alec would still want more time, more moments like this. Eternity was not long enough.

He cupped Magnus’s cheeks in his hands and kissed him. Because he could. Because he needed to. Because even though this had started as a knee-jerk reaction, the longer he thought about it, the clearer it became. This made sense. They made sense. Forever made sense.

When he pulled back, they were both a little out of breath and Magnus was looking at him with worry in his eyes.

“It’s nothing to worry about, love. I promise. Can you portal us home? I really do need to talk to you.”

“Okay.”

Magnus barely took his eyes off him while he went through the necessary motions to create a portal to their loft in Alicante.

Back in their own living room, Alec suddenly didn’t know how to start the conversation. He didn’t want it to blow up like it had with Jace. He had no idea how Magnus was going to react. He hadn’t even organized his thoughts yet.

He could feel his husband’s eyes follow him while he paced in front of the balcony doors.

“Alexander, please tell me what’s going through your mind because you’re scaring me.”

Alec took a deep breath and forced himself to stand still. He linked his hands behind his back and straightened his shoulders.

“Do you remember when we first got together and I snooped through your box?”

Magnus blinked. The look on his face was the same puzzled frown that showed up every time Alec mentioned something that had come up at a random council meeting. He had no idea what Alec was talking about.

“What box?”

Alec forced himself to smile as his determination grew exponentially. He was not going in that box. Ever.

“The box with George and Etta and Imasu.”

Magnus’s expression changed immediately. The puzzled frown turned into a painful grimace before it smoothed out into what Alec secretly referred to as well-meaning-patronizing-dick face. The last time Alec had seen it was right around this time last year.

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus said with a sigh. “Is this about your birthday?”

Alec barely managed to keep his hands linked behind his back. He was several years past old enough to have this conversation in a rational, adult way. He was not going to fly off the handle.

He bit down on several responses before he chose his words carefully and precisely. Two decades as a political leader had prepared him for this.

“My upcoming birthday brought the matter to my attention because it has yet to be resolved.”

Magnus’s eyes flashed and he made a huffy noise. He crossed his arms and raised his brows.

“Certainly, Consul Lightwood-Bane. Would you like to schedule a meeting to discuss it?”

Alec’s hand flew out from behind him before he could stop it. It hovered between them like a shield.

“Don’t. Please. I don’t want to fight.”

Magnus relented with a stubborn set to his jaw.

“Then why do you bring up this subject? You know there is nothing we can do. I don’t even want to think about…”

Magnus cut himself off with the forced smile that twisted Alec’s insides out of shape. He sashayed over and placed his hands on Alec’s waist.

“We have a beautiful life together,” he purred. “Let’s just live in the moment.”

“No.” Alec shook his head and wrapped his arms around his husband’s back. “That’s not going to work this time, Magnus. Please don’t patronize me.” 

Magnus stiffened and tried to pull back. Alec tightened his hold.

“Twenty years, love,” he said quietly. “It’s been twenty years, and they’ve gone so fast I feel like I barely even blinked.”

Magnus hid his face against the deflect rune on Alec’s neck. It was a good place to go to avoid eye-contact, but they’d been together long enough for Alec to recognize the sensation of tensely furrowed brows against his skin.

“We’ll just have to take it slower in the next twenty,” Magnus said lightly.

“That’s not enough.” Alec kept his hold tight and pressed a kiss to the shaved side of his husband’s stylish undercut. “It will never be enough.”

“Alexander—”

“I asked Simon to turn me into a vampire.”

Magnus turned to stone inside his arms. Then he sighed and pulled back. The look on his face wasn’t happy, but at least he wasn’t giving Alec his well-meaning-patronizing-dick face anymore.

“I’m not even sure where to start,” he said. His eyes gleamed. “You’re a _Shadowhunter_. You’re the _Consul._ ”

Alec took a deep breath and shrugged.

“What’s the difference between me retiring now or them forcing me into retirement thirty years from now? We’ve already achieved so much more than I ever hoped we would.”

He didn’t argue that he would miss his work. The parts of it that made sense and brought him joy. He certainly wouldn’t miss sending young Shadowhunters to their deaths on dangerous missions or putting himself and his family in the line of fire when shit inevitably hit the fan that never stopped spinning.

Magnus narrowed his eyes, but he nodded.

“What about your runes?”

Alec smirked. “You mean, what about Jace and our parabatai bond.”

Alec hadn’t used any of his runes in months. They hadn’t been necessary. He slept when he was tired, ate when he was hungry, and he and Magnus had never really needed them in the bedroom.

The only rune that Magnus could possibly be worried about was the one that bound a part of Alec’s soul to a part of Jace’s.

The way that his husband averted his eyes and looked studiously at a blank spot in the middle distance confirmed as much.

“I saw him and Simon today. He looks like Simon’s dad. There’s more gray than blond and he’s gaining weight around the middle. I think he’s stress-eating because of the twins.”

Magnus pressed his lips together to fight a smile. Of course, he didn’t win the fight.

“Did you tell him that?”

“No. I still hoped he would agree to give me his blood and turn me into a Daylighter.”

“Alexander.”

Alec leaned down and kissed Magnus. It wasn’t the most effective tactic, but it worked long enough to get him to pause.

“I’m going to leave Jace.” He sighed. “Or he’s going to leave me. It doesn’t matter if I do this or not, our parabatai bond will be broken by death. His or mine. Again, the only difference is time. Maybe twenty years, maybe thirty. The blink of an eye.”

He was afraid his words didn’t make sense. He was more afraid that Magnus didn’t understand the point he was trying to make.

“I can’t leave you. I won’t leave you.”

That was what everything boiled down to. He could leave his work, his parabatai, and in the darkest, most horrifying corner of his mind, he could admit he could leave his family, and even his children, but he could not leave Magnus. Ever.

“I love you. So damn much. I can’t take the thought of you without me.”

It was sick and appalling, but it was true all the same.

“I don’t ever want there to be a day when you and Max sit in this room and talk about ‘remember when your dad used to say’ and I’m not there to correct whatever words you try to put in my mouth.” 

“Alexander.”

“No. I can’t stomach the idea of you moving on. Watching Rafe’s children and his grandchildren and then their kids. Working with Max on whatever crazy inventions he’s going to come up with in the future, and I’m not there to see it with you. I have to be there. I need to be there. I can’t … There can’t be a you without me because there is no me without you.”

This was not how he had meant to lay out his rational argument for becoming a vampire. In fact, this was about the least rational argument he could have made. He sounded like a demented person. The kind of person who would commit murder-suicide, even though that was the exact opposite of what he was trying to achieve.

Magnus cleared his throat.

Alec forced himself to remove his arms to give Magnus the opportunity to put some space between them.

Magnus didn’t step back. He placed both of his hands on Alec’s chest and stared at it. His expression was unreadable. His brows were furrowed deeply over his nose, but there was a wistful smile on his lips. He tapped his fingers.

Alec looked down. Twenty years of black nail polish and an ever-revolving assortment of sparkling rings. The only one that was constant was the wedding band on Magnus’s left ring finger. Alec wanted to be there when the metal finally wore out and they used it as an excuse to renew their vows.

“Magnus?”

“Okay.” Magnus dug his fingers into his chest and pinned him with a look. “Okay. We’ll tell the boys at dinner tonight.”

Alec let go of his breath as if he’d been holding it for years. He wrapped his arms back around Magnus and held on tighter than before. He had no idea what he would have done if Magnus had fought him on this.

“Thank you.” He kissed his husband’s neck and inhaled a whiff of sandalwood, burnt charcoal, and … Clorox? “Did I pull you away from one of Max’s experiments?”

“Don’t ask,” Magnus grumbled. “But we might get a nasty email from the Chemistry Department at NYU.”

Alec laughed and rolled his eyes. “Why would you let him do an experiment on campus in the first place?”

Magnus made a put-upon noise. “He needed one of those electron-spectrum-magnetic something or other machines. It was either do the experiment at the school or steal it from there, and I figured it would be easier...”

Alec sighed.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know. I’m such a push-over. He’s going to blow up a building some day. Spare me the lecture, please?”

Alec nodded, smiled, and kissed him. Because he could spare Magnus the lecture. Because there would always be time for one later. Because soon they would literally have forever.

That night at dinner, Alec and Magnus laid out the situation as calmly as possible.

Max exploded into skittles.

Rafael got really quiet.

“Rafe?” Alec reached across the table to place his hand on his son’s wrist. “What’s wrong?”

Rafael pulled away. It broke Alec’s heart, but he accepted that Rafael didn’t want to be touched. His son’s warm tan turned ashen and his dark brown eyes looked glassy.

“I’ll be the only one,” he said thinly.

That killed even Max’s exuberant mood.

Rafe pushed himself away from the table, got up, and walked away.

“Rafael!”

Magnus was already pushing back his chair to get up and go after him.

Alec stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

Magnus was always the first one to fold, the first one to come back or give chase when any one of them stormed off in a huff. The first one to forgive and reconcile. It was one of the innumerable reasons why Alec loved him so damn much.

“Not you. Not this time.”

Alec rose from the table and went after their oldest son, not having any idea how to field this conversation.

He knocked on Rafe’s door and waited for the snarled, “Yes!” before he opened the door and set foot in his son’s room.

It was a mixture of a shrine and a museum to the fine art of classic and modern dance. Alec didn’t know half the people in the posters on Rafe’s walls, but they all shared a visible physical grace and unbridled passion for their chosen field that would put any Shadowhunter to shame.

Rafe lay sprawled out on his bed, arms behind his head, glowering at the glow-in-the dark constellations on his ceiling that they’d never gotten around to removing.

Alec sat down at the foot of his bed and clamped his hands between his knees to keep himself from reaching out.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked quietly.

Rafe snorted. “I’m just mad.”

Alec sighed. “Do you understand why I’m doing it?”

“Duh.”

“Um, that’s not really…”

“Of course, I know why you’re doing it, Dad. I’m not stupid.”

Rafe brought one hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was a habit he’d picked up from Alec.

“Then why are you mad?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… It used to be both of us. You and me. Now it’s going to be just me. I’ll get older and I’ll go gray, and then I’ll—”

“Don’t!” Alec cut him off before he could finish that sentence. “You’re still so young.”

“You’re not that old.”

“I know, but it feels like I was your age yesterday, and now look at me. Look at you. I used to have to lift you up to reach the cereal on top of the fridge.”

“Ugh. Dad.”

Alec looked down and took a couple of deep breaths. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t want his oldest to feel abandoned or left behind by the rest of his family.

“You won’t be alone,” he said quietly. “Uncle Jace won’t turn. Neither will Aunt Clary or your cousins. Aunt Izzy--”

Rafe scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

Alec wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but he was trying to show Rafe that he wasn’t alone.

His son removed his hand from his face and glared at him.

“And what if I don’t want to get any older?”

Alec tried to figure out how he felt about that. Both his boys forever young. A part of him screamed yes. Another part was screaming no just as loudly.

“You’re twenty. Around the same age I was when your papa and I first had this conversation, so I’m going to tell you the same thing he told me then. Live in the moment. Enjoy it.”

Rafe’s expression was the same one that Magnus gave him every time Alec suggested to relocate the apothecary to a different building. He wondered what unflattering description his son was assigning to the look on his face right now.

Alec closed his eyes and said a sentence he’d never thought he’d utter in his life.

“If you still feel the same way when you’re my age, I will turn you myself.”

Rafe bit his lip and dropped his hands on his belly. “Do I have to wait ‘til I’m forty?”

Alec sniffed. “You have to wait at least until after you’ve been the principal dancer at the Palais Garnier.”

Rafael stuck his hand out to shake on it.

“Deal.”

It would buy both of them a few more years to allow Rafael to think it over. If he still wanted to be immortal, Alec would keep his promise.

Alec reached out his hand, shook on it, and used the leverage to pull his oldest into a hug.

“You know you’re my favorite oldest boy.”

Rafe huffed against his shoulder. “Yeah, and Max is your favorite youngest. So lame, Dad.” 

Alec took the insult for what it was. “Love you too, son. Now, come on. I want to show your papa he’s not the only one who can end a fight in this family.”

“You know when papa does it, it usually comes with a bribe.”

Alec raised his brow. Then he shook his head and ruffled Rafe’s hair just because he knew how much his boy hated it when someone messed with his perfectly styled coif.

“Nice try. A standing offer for immortality is the best you’re gonna get out of this one.”

They went back to the dining room together and finished their dinner. Magnus cheated and used magic to summon them up some ice cream from their favorite place in Florence.

They were almost done when Max suddenly looked up from his dessert cup with an expression of unmitigated horror on his face.

“Shit,” he said. “Who’s going to tell grandma?”

Alec looked over at Magnus, who looked back at him with an equally uncomfortable expression. Alec suppressed an awkward giggle.

“Let’s not and say we did?”

The next day, Alec called back his sister during the couple hours downtime he had between meetings. After he had typed out and signed his official letter of resignation.

She picked up after the third ring.

“Hey, Iz. Are you busy?”

“Never too busy for you, big brother.” There was the sound of metallic clanging and shuffling in the background. She was in her workshop. “What’s up?”

“You can do the birthday party.”

“Yes!”

Alec could vividly imagine the nerdy fist pump that had become a thing after she’d been dating Simon for a while. He grinned and leaned back in his chair.

“Balloons, cake, the works. Invite everyone. I want you to make it the biggest party anyone has ever seen.”

“Alec!” Izzy’s tone was immediately annoyed. “That’s so mean. Why do you mess with me? You know I just want you to be happy!”

Alec chuckled. “I’m not messing with you. I mean it. Have Magnus help you if you need it.”

Izzy huffed. “You’re really going to keep up the joke?”

He turned in his seat to look at the framed photographs littering the bookcase. He’d have to pack all this up before he left for the day.

“I’m going to announce my retirement.”

“What? Why? What happened? Are you okay?”

Alec could swear he heard the metallic rasp of a weapon being picked up.

“Calm down. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Magnus and I made the decision together yesterday. There’s no disaster.” 

“This is coming out of nowhere, Alec. I thought you were getting ready to start a new program. The recovery shelter thing?”

Alec smiled. He was touched that she had remembered.

“I’m sure Aline is going to be happy to continue and expand on that. She and Helen have been talking about moving to Idris for a while now. I’ve strongly suggested her as the best candidate for the next Consul, and I don’t see why anyone would object.”

That wasn’t quite accurate. There were still plenty of crusty assholes who objected to people like Alec and Aline who were openly gay and married to Downworlders. Helen was actually only half a Downworlder, but that half was Seelie, which was somehow worse than Magnus being a warlock but still not as frowned upon as Magnus and Alec having children. Alec would never understand the convoluted reasoning of bigoted people.

“Anyway,” he said, as much to take his mind off the subject as to re-direct the conversation where he needed it to go. “I need a big party. A last hurrah. Then I’m going to need a private family dinner in the evening. There’s another announcement I have to make, but I only want family in the room for that.”

“See!” Izzy’s voice hit just below screeching before she forced herself to take a deep breath. “I knew there was something going on. Big party, family announcement. What is it? Do you need me? I’ll--”

“It’s nothing bad. I promise, Izzy. Just tell me, can you get it all done in time for my birthday?”

Izzy made a disgruntled noise. There was more clanging and banging on her end of the line.

“Can I pull together a last-minute all-day party and a full family dinner with everyone there like it’s the end of the world?”

“It isn’t,” Alec said pointedly. “I promise.” 

“It had better not be.”

Alec wasn’t sure what to say to assuage her. He knew he was asking a lot and being incredibly cryptic. He was surprised Simon hadn’t told Izzy what was going on. His brother-in-law wasn’t exactly great at keeping secrets.

“I love you?”

“I love you, too.”

She made it sound like an insult to herself.

After he hung up with her, he called Simon, who picked up on the first ring.

“Hey, are you free to talk?”

“Stake-out.” Simon’s tone was as clipped as his answer. “Did you talk to Magnus?”

“Yeah.” Alec barreled on, trying to spare Simon the suspense. “He said yes.”

Simon exhaled a loud shaky breath into the speaker.

“Okay,” he said, but it didn’t sound like he was.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut. Simon wasn’t talking. It was never a good thing when Simon was quiet. Alec’s stomach cramped.

“Simon, I’ll understand if you can’t do it.”

He had no idea where he would find another vampire he could trust. There wasn’t one. He’d have to figure it out.

“I can find someone—”

“No! I’ll do it.” Simon’s response was fast and panicky. “This is a family thing. You’re not going to let some random vamp neck on you. That’s not happening, do you hear me? Your sister would stake me. She’d take a page out of the Clave book and nail me to a cross and start burning off body parts.”

Alec laughed nervously. Simon did have a point. He wasn’t even sure how Isabelle would react when he shared his plans with everyone at the family dinner.

“I’m surprised you haven’t told her yet,” he admitted.

Simon sighed. “I didn’t want to bring it up until I knew for sure.”

Alec cringed. “How do you think she’ll take it?”

“I think it’s not my job to find out first.”

He couldn’t begrudge Simon’s response. It was Alec’s responsibility to break the news. It wouldn’t be fair to let Simon take the brunt of whatever Isabelle’s reaction would be.

Alec furrowed his brows and gritted his teeth.

“Do you think you can keep the secret for three more days?”

Simon made a pressed noise somewhere between a whine and a growl.

“Why?”

“I want to tell everyone at the same time at family dinner on Saturday.”

“On your birthday? Dude!”

“Simon, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t go to every single one of you and have this conversation, what, a dozen more times? Izzy, Mom, Dad, Luke, Max, Clary, Stevie, the twins, Catarina, Madzie. You know Jace is going to want to fight about it all over again. I have no idea how any of the others are going to take it. I can’t do this. Please. Don’t make me.” 

Simon chuckled. “It’s going to be like your big fat fake wedding all over again. Dramatic scene in front of everybody.”

“Not everybody. Just the family this time.”

Simon sighed again. “Okay. Fine. But you’re going to owe me, Alec.”

“I let you marry my sister.”

“Hah. Like you had any say in that.”

“I could have killed you.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ll have to live with you as my sire for the rest of forever, isn’t that enough?”

“Nope. I need your word on something.”

“What?”

“When it’s Izzy’s turn, you have to do it.”

Alec froze. He had not expected that. He wasn’t sure what to think. His immediate gut reaction was a big blank space.

Simon’s voice was unusually quiet and calm when it pushed through the white noise in Alec’s ears.

“This can’t be a surprise to you, Alec. We’re in the same boat.”

Alec closed his eyes and let go of a long breath.

“If it’s what Izzy wants.”

By the Angel, he wasn’t even a vampire yet and he was already racking up family members to turn. He suddenly knew exactly how Simon felt.

“I’m so sorry,” he blurted.

Simon chuckled. “Yeah, let’s just not make it a habit, okay?” 

Alec snorted. “Rafe already asked me. I promised I’d do it if he still wants it ten years from now.”

“You are such a sucker!”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Shut up. Ugh.” There was a sudden ruckus as Simon scrambled on the other end of the line. “Bad guy’s leaving. Gotta go. See you Saturday.”

Simon hung up before Alec could say anything in response.

Consul Alexander Lightwood-Bane’s fortieth birthday party was the bash of the century. Between Izzy and Magnus, they had secured the entire ground floor and mezzanine of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Everyone had been invited. It was like the annual Met Gala but for the Shadow World.

Alec hated every minute of it. He purposely left his speech until long after the buffet and bar had been opened. He wanted to make sure everyone was well-fed and well on their way to drunk before he announced his ridiculously early retirement.

When he finally finished his grand speech, it went over pretty much like he had expected. 700 people and you could have heard a pin drop.

For the next two hours, he and Magnus fielded a barrage of questions, congratulations, and not-so-joking threats. They had agreed to tell people the reason for his decision was because they wanted to travel the world together before Alec was too old to enjoy it. 

Magnus never let go of Alec’s hand. Alec would worship him forever for the insane levels of smooth-talking and charm his husband threw at everyone to get the individual conversations over with as quickly as possible.

Alec made sure to tell him, every time they had a second to breathe.

“I love you,” he said for the umpteenth time, brushing a fleeting kiss over Magnus’s irresistible charming smile, “so, so much.”

Magnus chuckled against his lips. “I know. Hang in there. Just a few more. You can do this.”

Schmoozing had never been Alec’s strong suit. Magnus was his savior and a saint.

By the time they finally left the Met, Alec could have collapsed into a puddle. He would have, had it not been for the fact that he still had to make an even bigger announcement to their family.

Family dinner took place at their home in Alicante. Nothing short of magic could fit seventeen people around one table at such short notice.

Alec was a nervous wreck long before the last incoming portal closed in their foyer.

He was trying to pull himself together in the kitchen when Rafe found him.

His oldest boy took one look, came over, and pulled him into a quick but fierce hug.

“You can do this, Dad.” He stepped back with a grin and delivered a hearty slap to Alec’s shoulder. “Remember, you told Lita and Tito that I wasn’t going to be a Shadowhunter because I wanted to do ballet. It can’t be worse than that.”

Alec made an uncomfortable noise in his throat. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to go through another round of _that_. He was also worried that things would blow up so much worse with Jace in the mix.

Magnus walked into the kitchen, took one look at both of them, and raised his brows.

“Do you need me to mix a calming potion into the wine? I’ll do it for this. No questions asked.”

Alec couldn’t help it. His nerves spilled out in desperate laughter.

“We’re not drugging our family.”

It took every ounce of his willpower, but Alec pulled himself together, squared his shoulders, and linked his hands behind his back. He would go out there, make his announcement to the family, and deal with any cataclysmic fallout. He was calm, he was in control. He was the (retired) Consul of the Clave, for crying out loud. If he could deal with the apocalypse on a semi-regular basis, he could deal with this.

“I’m ready.”

“Of course, you are,” Magnus purred, stepping up to fix Alec’s bowtie that did not need fixing. “And so damn sexy with your resolve-face on.”

“Ugh.” Rafe made a gagging noise and hightailed it out of the kitchen.

They both rolled their eyes at their overdramatic son. Then they leaned in at the same time to share a gentle kiss. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and let the familiarity of the moment, and the promise of innumerable more, calm him down. This would never change. They would always have this.

“Dad! Papa! Stop making out and get in here, we’re hungry!”

“Maxwell!” Maryse’s voice cracked harder than Izzy’s electrum whip.

Alec heard both his son and his brother apologize at the same time, even though his brother hadn’t said anything.

Magnus snickered. Alec made a pained noise in his throat. He had really hoped his mother would be in a good mood when he broke the news.

“Come on,” Magnus said with a gentle smile, patting his chest. “Let’s get this over with.”

They stepped out into the dining room together. Alec took his place at the head of the table and remained standing while Magnus sat down on his left. Once again, Magnus didn’t let go of his hand.

Alec tightened his grip and looked around the table at his family. Max and Rafe knew what was coming. They were trying their best to be quietly supportive. Max flashed him a quick thumbs-up.

Across from his boys on the other long side of the table, Simon took Izzy’s hand. She gave him a puzzled look but then she turned her wrist and laced their fingers with a smile.

Next to them, Jace sat with a thunderous scowl on his face and his arms crossed in front of his chest. Clary and Stevie were busy trying to tame the twins across from them.

The twins were bickering with each other between Maryse and Robert, unaware of the imminent danger their antics put them in if they didn’t settle down soon.

On Maryse’s left, Luke was doing his best to keep her from going full tiger-grandma.

At the far end of the table, Catarina, Madzie, and Alec’s youngest brother Max tried to ignore the escalating squabble happening right in front of them.

Alec laughed. Loud and a bit edgy.

That got everyone’s attention.

“I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head.

He couldn’t stop. He tried to be Consul Lightwood-Bane, but it was impossible. 

“I love you lot, so much.”

It was even harder to fight the tears that suddenly jumped him from behind.

“That’s why this is so hard.”

He held on tighter to Magnus’s hand and tried to keep it together.

“It’s okay, Dad.” Rafe.

“You can do this.” Max.

“Alec, honey, what’s wrong?” Maryse.

“Son, are you all right?” Robert.

“You’re seriously doing this?” Jace.

“What’s going on?” Izzy and Clary at the same time.

“Okay, okay, stop. Everybody. Stop.” Alec held his hand up. “I’m sorry. Let me start over.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few deep breaths. Magnus’s warm grip on his other hand felt like an anchor keeping him from drifting off into the void.

“Magnus and I had a conversation, and I decided...” A painful squeeze from bejeweled fingers between his own corrected him. “We have decided that this year is going to be my last as a Shadowhunter and a mortal. I’ve asked Simon to turn me into a vampire and he has agreed.”

Alec closed his mouth and waited for pandemonium to start.

You could have heard a pin drop on the other end of the city.

Even the twins shut up and sat still.

Maryse snorted. “Really?”

She dropped her napkin onto the table.

Everyone collectively held their breath. Alec felt Magnus’s magic flare against his skin, instinctively reaching out to protect him from whatever was coming.

Maryse smacked her lips.

“At this point, are you just trying to see how far you can push it?”

“Maryse,” Luke said quietly, grabbing her hand.

“No,” she said, removing her hand and patting Luke’s with a chuckle. “Really. Think about it.”

She shook her head. “Mom, I’m gay. Mom, I’m in love with a Downworlder. Mom, the Downworlder is the son of a greater demon. Mom, I’m going to marry him. Mom, I’m adopting a child. He’s a warlock, too, oh, and he sometimes turns into a bat, would you mind babysitting? Mom, I’m adopting another boy. He’s a Shadowhunter, but he’d rather be a ballet dancer, so x-nay on the Academy. Mom, I’m becoming a vampire. For crying out loud, Alec.”

Maryse rolled her eyes toward the ceiling, pinched the bridge of her nose, and exhaled a stuttering laugh before she lowered her head and pinned Alec with a long, hard look.

“I love you. I will always love you, no matter what you do, so what’s next? How are you going to top this?”

The outburst left everyone at the table stunned into silence and gaping at Maryse.

Rafe cleared his throat. “I asked Dad to turn me, too?”

“WHAT?!”

Alec chuckled nervously. “I told him he had to wait at least until he’s thirty.”

Maryse picked up her glass of wine, drained it, held it out to Luke who dutifully refilled it, and took another large gulp before she raised it.

“To the Lightwood family. Forever living up to our motto.”

Robert frowned. “We mean well?”

Maryse shook her head. “The other one.”

Alec smiled. “We break noses and accept the consequences.”

“That’s my boy.” Maryse sniffed proudly and drained her drink.

A stabbing pain in his gut almost doubled Alec over. When he looked down the table at Jace, his parabatai was glaring daggers at Maryse.

“That’s all you have to say?” Jace turned his glare on Robert. “You can’t be okay with this.”

Robert sighed. He placed his napkin on the table and folded his hands in his lap before he turned in his seat to look up at Alec.

“I can’t say I’m happy about this,” he said calmly, “but you have always followed your heart, son, and it has never steered you wrong.”

Thankfully, Magnus did not say anything to correct Robert. There had been one or two times (maybe a dozen) at the beginning of their relationship when Alec’s heart had galloped off with all the best intentions into the completely wrong direction.

Robert turned back to Jace. “I’m sorry, Jace. It’s your brother’s decision. We have to respect it.”

“Great.” Jace burst out of his chair and stormed away from the table.

“Jace!” Clary yelled after him, already out of her seat. “I’m so sorry, Alec. I…”

“Go.” Alec nodded and watched her run off after her husband, his parabatai.

“Awesome,” Stevie huffed with an impressive eye-roll. “Come on, dumb-and-dumber, that was our cue to go home.” 

For once the twins did as they were told without a peep.

Robert, both Maxes, and Rafe used the opportunity to quietly slip out of the room as well.

A few seconds later, Stevie’s spiky red head popped back inside from the archway to the living-room.

“For what it’s worth, I think it’s super-romantic. You’re still gonna be there for my graduation, right? Mom already bought the tickets.”

Alec smirked. “Of course, we’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

Catarina and Madzie slowly made their way around the table. Catarina squeezed Magnus’s shoulder with a big smile and surprised the hell out of Alec when she pulled him into a hug.

“I’m glad,” she whispered in his ear. “I’m just really... Thank you.” She squeezed him tight.

“Mom.” Madzie pulled on her mother’s shoulders. “Don’t be a drama llama.”

Catarina relented with an eyeroll and made room.

Madzie moved in for a quick hug and went up on her tip-toes to kiss Alec’s cheek.

“I think it’s great, Uncle Alec. I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Thanks, Madz.” Alec managed a smile.

“Thank you, sweet pea.” Magnus blew her a kiss.

Madzie caught it before she moved back and looped both her arms around one of Cat’s to drag her off.

“Call me,” Cat said pointedly to Magnus before her daughter pulled her out of the room.

Isabelle still hadn’t said a word. She sat quietly next to Simon, holding his hand.

Luke cleared his throat and rose from the table.

“Maryse?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” she said, rising as well.

She stepped up and wrapped her arms around Alec in a tight hug.

“I mean it, Alec. I will always love you, no matter what.”

Alec stuck his nose in her steel-gray hair and kissed the top of her head. The sharp citrus and petrichor scent hadn’t changed a bit since he was a child.

“I love you, too, mom.”

She patted his back before she stepped around him and pulled Magnus out of his chair. “Come here.”

Magnus froze for a second before he returned Maryse’s hug and gently patted her shoulder. Twenty years, and his initial reluctance still hadn’t disappeared.

“You will both always be my boys,” Maryse said firmly. “If this makes you happy. I’m happy.”

She stepped back and almost bumped into Luke who was waiting to help her into her coat.

“You kids call us if you need anything,” Luke rumbled gruffly into his snow-white beard, completely ignoring the fact that everyone who remained at the table was at least pushing forty and Magnus was his senior by several centuries.

When only Alec, Magnus, Izzy, and Simon were left in the dining room, things got very quiet.

Magnus was unsurprisingly the first one to break the silence.

“Does anyone else feel like they need a drink?”

“Gin Martini.”

“Bloody Mary O-Neg.”

“Tequila Sunrise.”

“Right.” Magnus sighed. “Be right back.”

They could have followed Magnus into the living room, but neither Izzy nor Simon moved to get up, so Alec sank into the chair at the head of the table.

That was when he realized they had never actually gotten around to having dinner because he’d been too tense and had dropped his bombshell announcement before they’d even served the food.

“Oh, man. I screwed this up, didn’t I?”

Simon chuckled. “You think?”

Magnus returned with their drinks and sank into the chair on Alec’s right.

“Don’t worry, darling. It’ll keep.”

Alec grabbed his martini and took a healthy swig. Then he looked at Izzy.

She still hadn’t said anything.

“Do you hate me now?” Alec asked bluntly.

She bestowed him with a withering look.

“I could never hate you,” she said, “but I really wish you’d done this differently.”

Alec chuckled. “Well, you can do it better when it’s your turn.”

Izzy’s eyes went wide. She whipped around and grabbed Simon’s fingers so tightly Alec heard the crunch of grinding bones from three feet away.

“You told him?”

“Ouch,” Simon said pointedly, looking at their twined fingers. “I said ‘if’!”

Alec snorted. “Technically, I said ‘if’. You point blank asked me to turn my baby sister in exchange for you agreeing to turn me.”

“Simon!”

“I can’t do it, Izzy. I can’t kill you. Hell, to be honest, I don’t even know how I’m going to manage to kill Alec. It’s not like I grew up killing people as part of my daily routine.”

Everyone had to chew on that one for a minute.

Turning into a vampire was a long and complicated process. Right in the middle of the process, the person needed to die with a vampire’s blood in their body. Since people usually didn’t just up and die on their own, the prevailing method to achieve death was by killing them.

Simon was not a killer. He was the type of guy who coaxed an unwanted spider in his house onto a newspaper and called it “buddy” while he carried it out into the backyard.

Alec finished his drink and put the empty glass down on the table in front of him.

“You don’t have to kill me,” he said quietly. “Just bite me and feed me your blood. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Magnus flinched.

Simon glared. “How?”

Alec opened his mouth. And realized he had no idea how to answer that question. There were a million ways to die by suicide, and none of them was anything Alec ever wanted to put his family through.

“Yeah,” Simon snapped as if he’d read Alec’s mind or maybe everything had just been written clear across his face. “Exactly.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec said.

Simon made a disgruntled noise.

Izzy loosened her grip on her husband’s hand and leaned over to hug him. She whispered something in Simon’s ear that Alec couldn’t hear and kissed Simon’s temple. Simon closed his eyes and nodded.

Izzy’s arm stayed around Simon’s shoulders when she turned her head.

The way his sister looked at him made Alec’s blood run cold faster than it had when he had first come face to face with Lilith.

“Just keep your promise when it’s my turn,” she said.

Alec gulped. He wished he hadn’t already finished his drink. He nodded.

Magnus made a humming noise in his throat.

“I think it’s time we called it a night,” he said smoothly. “We have plenty of time to discuss logistics later.”

The goodbyes were awkward. Isabelle still hugged both of them and Simon still didn’t, but there was a definite tension between them that hadn’t been there before.

When the portal Magnus had created for them closed, Alec felt lost and adrift in the foyer of his own home.

Then Magnus took his hand.

“What do you say we go to bed early?”

In bed, spooned in the way only the two of them could fit together, Alec screwed up the courage to ask.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake?”

He held his breath, waiting for the answer.

“No.” Magnus shook his head. “Do you?”

Relief felt like being released from a full-body bind of constricting vines. Alec’s resolve firmed, knowing that he wasn’t the only one who knew this was the right thing to do. The only way to do right by them.

Alec smiled.

“No.”

They made love until the sun came up.

Alec arranged his de-runing at the New York Institute under a pseudonym. It was rare but not unheard of for a Shadowhunter to leave the community and choose to live as a mundane.

He had made sure to draw as little attention as possible and scheduled it for a time at night when the majority of the staff were out on patrol or enjoying downtime outside of the Institute.

It took him by surprise when an old familiar face walked through the door of the exam room.

“Andrew.”

Andrew Underhill had aged with poise. His blonde curls had turned salt and pepper gray, and he had grown a beard in the intervening years, but his physique was still firm. The lines around his eyes only emphasized their kindness.

“Alec.”

They had made it to the first name stage a long time ago. At some point between Alec and Magnus’s wedding and the spectacular combustion of Andrew’s passionate relationship with the warlock Lorenzo Rey a few years later.

Andrew sighed. “I figured it was you.”

“Why?”

“Gideon Banewood?” Andrew raised his brows. “Come on.”

Alec cringed. He hadn’t taken a lot of time to think up a pseudonym. He braced his hands on the edge of the exam table and met Andrew’s gaze head on.

“I’d like to keep this private.”

Andrew scoffed. “You know I won’t tell anyone.”

They fell quiet for a moment. Andrew bestowed him with a long, intense stare that Alec knew meant he had something to say but he was holding his tongue out of respect.

Alec rolled his eyes.

“Just say it.”

“I still think you’re brave. I think we’re losing the best leader the Shadowhunters have ever had. At first, I thought it’s so selfish, but then I remembered everything you’ve sacrificed, everything you’ve done for people like me. So, really, all I can say is thank you. Thank you, and I hope that you’ll be happy every day, for however much time you two have left together.”

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose and fought the wetness in his eyes.

“Damnit, Andrew. Why do you always have to—”

He was cut off by rapid-fire knuckles on wood and the door flying open.

Jace stood inside the room like a haunted man, every muscle in his body rigid. He stared Alec down. The lines on his face seemed like deep scars carved into his skin. His jaw clenched so tightly it was a wonder he could speak.

“Don’t do it.”

Alec sighed. They hadn’t said a word to each other since his birthday dinner a couple of days ago. 

“Jace.”

He didn’t know what to say now that he hadn’t already said before. If Jace didn’t want to understand, repeating himself wouldn’t change anything.

Jace ground his teeth harder.

“You’re really going to put us through this?”

Alec sniffed. It wasn’t like Jace actually knew what was coming. Unlike Alec who knew exactly what a broken parabatai bond felt like.

“Andrew, can you give us a minute?”

“I’ll be right outside.”

Once Andrew had slipped out the door, Alec looked up at Jace with a smile that felt like it had been cut by a rusty blade. He shook his head.

“One of us was always going to go through this. I already did it once.”

Jace’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, but his glare was as fierce as it had always been.

“Lake Lyn wasn’t my choice,” he snarled. “You’re doing this on purpose. You’re leaving me on purpose.”

Shit.

Alec had never even thought of it that way. He’d been so completely focused on the future that he hadn’t wasted a micro-second of thought on the present and how his decision affected Jace right now.

“Jace, that’s not what I’m doing.”

Jace glared at him even harder. “That’s exactly what you’re doing.”

“I don’t think of it that way,” Alec snapped back. “You are my brother, my best friend. You are a part of me that will always be with me, parabatai rune or not. Jace, we’ve gone through hell and back together, literally, and I will always, always love you.”

“But you’re still leaving me.”

“No,” Alec said quietly. “I’m just not going to follow you when you leave.”

The words of the parabatai ceremony hung unspoken in the air between them.

Jace nodded and turned around. He flung the door open.

“Underhill, get in here and do your job.”

Alec was certain that this was the last he would ever see of his parabatai.

Andrew ducked under Jace’s arm and quietly shuffled over to prepare the hand-held device that would be used for the de-runing.

The door slammed shut.

Jace was still in the room.

Alec didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure what Jace was trying to tell him with the gesture. His parabatai rune was still screaming in anger and pain.

Andrew pulled up a rolling chair and sat down in front of Alec.

“Ready?”

Alec nodded. He squared his shoulders and prepared himself for the pain he was about to endure.

“This one first.” He pointed to the parabatai rune on the left side of his stomach.

The least he could do was spare Jace the additional agony of going through the removal of the other runes with Alec through their bond.

“No.” Jace’s voice brooked no argument.

“Um.” Andrew looked up over his shoulder with raised brows.

Jace shouldered his way in between them and grabbed Alec’s hand, linking their thumbs together and closing his fingers over the back of Alec’s hand.

“You’re not getting rid of me that quick.” Jace turned his glare on Andrew. “The parabatai rune goes last. That’s an order from your Institute Head.” 

Alec swallowed hard.

“Jace.”

“Shut up.”

For the next couple of hours, the grating buzz of the de-runing gadget was the only sound in the room.

Alec felt like the walking dead as he stumbled through the penthouse doors into their loft. Magnus had thankfully already moved it back from Alicante to the old familiar brownstone in Brooklyn.

He crawled into bed half-past-dead and curled up under the sheets.

Without his runes, he felt like less than a person. Like a shell of his former self.

His mother had gone through this. Alone.

At least she had been spared the loss of a parabatai.

He couldn’t feel Jace anymore. He had forgotten what phantom pain was until he’d started to feel the absence of his parabatai like the burning remnant of a lost limb.

Alec only became aware that he was no longer alone when he felt the touch of gentle fingers on his tightly clenched fist.

Magnus.

He grabbed the offered hand, turned around and pulled, tucked himself inside his husband’s embrace like hiding under a safety blanket. Fell apart.

After a long while, Alec felt spiky-soft hair against his cheek and a kiss brushed over the edge of his jaw.

“Do you regret it?”

Alec shook his head. Raised the warm hand tucked against his chest to kiss the knuckles.

“No.”

Magnus held him tight until the sun came up.

They had chosen Izzy and Simon’s home in Queens for the transformation because it had a backyard. Alec had literally dug his own grave in the afternoon.

Izzy was staying over with Clary and Jace. Magnus and the boys had stayed home at Alec’s request.

It was just Simon and him, sitting at the kitchen table an hour before sundown.

Alec was on his second glass of scotch. Simon was nursing a Bloody Mary O-Neg.

“Don’t spoil your appetite.”

“Seriously?”

“Sorry.”

Simon nursed his drink some more.

“Have you decided how you want to do this?”

Alec gulped. “I was going to ask you that.”

He’d never watched a vampire turn someone. He knew the cut and dry technicalities, but he had no idea how things would actually happen in person.

“Does it hurt?”

It was a silly question to ask. After what he’d gone through with the de-runing, he couldn’t imagine anything hurting worse.

Simon shook his head and took another swig from his glass.

“The venom makes you pliable. High. You’ll feel really good.”

Alec cringed.

He remembered finding Izzy in Raphael Santiago’s arms in the middle of a venom high. Sprawled out in the arms of a vampire, totally unconcerned with her own life.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.”

“I mean it.”

“It’s worthless when it doesn’t change anything.”

Alec felt like he’d been slapped. He deserved it. This wasn’t easy for either of them.

“Is it going to be quick?”

Simon smirked. “Depends entirely on how we do it.”

“Which brings us back to question one.”

Simon nodded and finished his drink.

Alec thought about it. He wouldn’t ask Simon to break his neck or stab him. He didn’t want this to be any messier than it absolutely had to be.

“Just pick a major artery and drain me until there’s nothing left.” He forced himself to smile. “And don’t forget to feed me your blood.”

Simon huffed. Then he shook his head and pinned Alec with a look that made Alec shift in his seat.

“Are you really sure you want to do this?”

Alec avoided the unsettling gaze and looked down. His wedding band gleamed on the ring finger of his left hand. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the warm smooth surface. How long would it take for the metal to wear out? A hundred years? Two hundred? A thousand?

He raised his head and smiled.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

Simon burst into motion without any more warning. Instinct made Alec struggle as his brother-in-law assaulted him from behind. Without his runes, he was no match for the strength and speed of a vampire.

He felt arms like steel bars wrapped around his chest. Teeth like metal prongs drove into his neck where his deflect rune used to be.

The venom hit his system in an instant. It was bliss. Like the moment he kissed Magnus in the middle of a stunned crowd at his big fat fake wedding. Like Magnus saying yes when Alec finally proposed. Like dancing at their wedding. Like the days they adopted their boys. Like Max’s first step or the first time Rafe called Alec Dad.

When a hard wrist pushed against his lips, Alec didn’t fight it. He opened his mouth and sucked in the taste of warm copper pennies and salt.

Dying was like falling asleep after a long hard day.

The next time he came to, he was buried under a ton of loose earth. It pressed on his body and rolled into his mouth when he tried to scream. Blind panic jerked his limbs. He clawed and kicked and shoved upward until he felt his hands reach through the dirt into nothing.

His face had barely breached the soil when it hit him. Even as he spat out dirt, he wanted something else to fill his mouth. The hunger was insatiable, all-consuming. Blood. Blood. Blood. He needed it. Craved it.

Several sterile bags of blood landed in front of him. He tore into them before he’d realized he’d picked them up. The taste was revolting but addictive. He needed more.

The bags mercifully kept coming.

He gorged himself.

“Alec?”

Something about the name caused a twinge.

“Alec, are you with me?”

He gagged on the blood and scrambled away. Alec. Blood. Alec was him. Blood. He was Alec. Blood. Alec Lightwood. Blood. Alec Lightwood-Bane.

Alec nodded.

It was a struggle to think past the thirst, but it was there. He was Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane. Husband of Magnus Lightwood-Bane. Father of Rafael and Maxwell Lightwood-Bane.

The man – Sire – in front of him was – Sire – his brother-in-law – Sire – Simon Lewis.

That would take some getting used to.

Alec pushed out a stuttering breath. His chest felt cold and clammy. Heavy. He grabbed at it.

“No heartbeat,” his sire said quietly. “It’ll take a while to get used to.”

The sudden blare of a fire engine’s siren ripped through his eardrums.

Alec bolted, but he didn’t get far. His sire was holding him down. Simon’s large hand covered one ear while his other ear was pressed against Simon’s chest. They stayed that way until the noise faded.

Alec could still hear it a mile down the street. And the dog barking on the end of the block. And the crickets screaming in the shrubs. And the absolute silence inside his sire’s chest.

He could smell his sire’s blood. And the dirt that clung to him. And the wet grass under them. And the leaky car in the neighbor’s driveway.

“Ang--” Alec choked on it. “Go--” He gagged on that one. “Raz—” Three for three. “This is awful.”

“I know,” Simon grumbled. “You’ll get used to it.”

Alec huffed. It wasn’t like he had a choice. No, this had been his choice. These were just the consequences.

“I’m still hungry,” he admitted.

“Yeah, come on. I have more inside.”

Back at the kitchen table, Simon spared him the indignity of having to tear into another blood bag. He served Alec the blood in a twelve-ounce glass and refilled it twice without waiting to be asked.

“How do you control your senses?” Alec asked when he was finished.

Simon shrugged. “It’s instinctive, I guess. It took me a few weeks to go back to normal. Some stuff still takes me by surprise.”

Alec cringed. “That siren?”

“Yeah,” Simon shrugged. “Wasn’t pleasant for me either.”

“Is the hunger always going to be this bad?”

Simon chortled. “Dumbass.”

Alec flinched. The insult had a lot more impact than it used to have before.

“I’m not—”

“You should have asked me all that stuff before I turned you.”

Alec scowled. “I still would have done it.”

Simon sighed. “I know.”

Alec licked his lips, tasting blood and dirt. He didn’t want to ask again, but he still needed to know the answer.

Simon took pity on him.

“It won’t always be this bad,” he said, “as long as you feed regularly.”

Alec nodded. 

When they were both a little calmer, Simon let Alec go upstairs alone to take a shower.

Alec avoided looking at himself in the mirror until he’d cleaned up. It was hard enough to look at all the blood washing down the drain. The most revolting part was the urge to drop to his knees and lick it up before it could disappear.

What had he done?

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He had done the only thing he could do to make sure he and Magnus had forever. As long as that was the case, Alec could live with the consequences of his actions.

After his shower, he pulled out the toiletry bag he’d brought from home and brushed his teeth. Then he finally allowed himself to look in the bathroom mirror.

The lines around his eyes had faded. His forehead and cheeks were smooth as marble. If it wasn’t for the gray streaks shooting through his hair, no one would put him north of twenty-five.

“Shit.”

He looked down at himself and found a set of abs he hadn’t seen for the better part of fifteen years.

“Shit!”

He flexed the muscles in his arms. It felt like he could lift a truck without breaking a sweat.

Alec barely took the extra few seconds to put on his pants before he went out into the bedroom to test his theory. He picked up the antique dresser Izzy had pilfered from their childhood home in Alicante as if it weighed no more than a full shopping bag.

“Shit!”

“What is it, Alec are you… Oh. Kay.” Simon’s tone crashed from rushed concern into drawling relief. “Yeah, that comes in handy a lot more than you’d think.” He sniffed. “You can put it down now.”

Alec put the dresser down, carefully, and flexed his muscles some more just because he could.

“Magnus is going to flip.” 

He grinned at the thought. His fangs dropped. Alec slapped a hand over his mouth.

Simon didn’t bother to suppress his own fangless grin.

“Yeah, that’s going to happen a lot more than you think, too.”

Alec frowned. “How long?”

Simon crinkled his brows. “You want an honest answer or a reassuring one?”

“Honest.”

“I sometimes still pop fang when Izzy—”

“Got it.” Alec held up his hand.

He didn’t need to hear anything more specific. It was just something he would have to confess to Magnus and hope it didn’t happen too frequently in front of other people.

Who was he kidding? Magnus was smoking hot on his lousiest days and an irresistible temptation on his best ones. Now that Alec had been granted a younger, stronger body for the rest of eternity, he was pretty much doomed to sport permanent fang for his husband.

Simon snorted. “Are you feeling sixteen and overwhelmed?”

Alec groaned. “Just tell me I’ll learn to control myself.”

“Of course, you will.” Simon rolled his eyes. “It’ll take a while, but you’re going to be fine. Just…” He writhed and waved his hands in a vague uncomfortable motion. “Take it slow. Like super-slow. Stay away from the neck area is all I’m saying. It’s really easy to get carried away.”

This was already far more than Alec ever wanted to know about his sister’s love life or his sire’s, for that matter.

“Right. Slow.”

Simon left him to finish getting dressed. Back downstairs, Alec called Magnus and the boys to let them know everything had gone all right.

Magnus wanted to come over immediately. Alec begged him not to. He didn’t want to risk it until he had learned some self-control. Magnus reluctantly agreed.

Simon double checked that the blinds and curtains in the guest bedroom were securely closed and put another glass of blood on the bedside table.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” he said quietly. “I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.” He pointed his finger at Alec. “Do not open the curtains. Not even to take a peek. It’s not worth it.”

Alec scoffed at the warning.

He shouldn’t have.

The next morning, he almost killed himself. His body was still used to its natural rhythm. He threw open the curtains and pulled on the string to raise the blinds without thinking.

The first shaft of sunlight hit him like a bucketload of acid.

He was still screaming a second later when Simon had him up against the wall in the safety of the windowless hallway.

“I told you!” Simon snarled.

“Sorry. Sorry.” Alec clung to his sire’s shoulders and shook like a beaten dog. Everything hurt. “Sorry.”

“Dumbass.”

“Yeah.”

Simon left Alec in the hallway and closed the curtains and blinds on all the windows at vampire speed. Then he told Alec it was safe to come down into the living room.

“You have to be more careful,” Simon grumbled.

Alec felt like he was six years old and failing his first attempts at archery all over again.

“I know.”

He squared his shoulders and picked up the glass of blood in front of him. He’d just have to try harder.

“I already have a handle on the strength,” he said resolutely. “I can learn everything else.”

It was easier said than done, but Alec dedicated himself to mastering his vampire abilities with the same single-mindedness that had gotten him through years of Shadowhunter training. Relentless repetition until he achieved perfection. Feeding was mandatory. Sleep was optional.

He was able to turn himself into a bat by day three. By day five he had mastered the encanto on small animals.

Alec missed Magnus and his boys every moment of every day, but until he was sure he was in complete control of his bloodlust, video messages and phone calls would have to do.

After the second night, Izzy had moved from Jace and Clary’s house to the loft. Apparently, Max’s occasional explosive experiments were easier on the nerves than the constant shenanigans of the twins.

They only spoke briefly while she was on the phone with Simon. Alec didn’t ask about Jace. He didn’t ask if Jace wanted to know about him. Izzy steered clear of the subject.

At the end of two weeks, Alec felt secure enough in his self-control to attempt to go home. The trial by fire was making it from Queens to Brooklyn with mundane means of transportation.

Alec drank an extra glass of blood before they left Simon and Izzy’s house. Simon stuck to his side like they were glued together. Alec didn’t mind.

It was still a marvel that he didn’t mind, but if a side effect of the sire bond was that Alec no longer found the presence of his energetic nerdy brother-in-law annoying, it could hardly be called a downside.

They had to take two buses and the F train to get to the brownstone near the Brooklyn Bridge. By the time they walked up the stone steps into the building, Alec’s eyes, ears, and nose felt stuffed to the brim with sensory overload.

He leaned against the back of the elevator with a groan and pressed the heels of his hands against his closed lids to stop his eyeballs from throbbing.

Simon placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“You’ve got this. You didn’t even flinch once the whole time we were on the F, man. You’re in control.” 

Alec should have shrugged it off. Instead, he leaned into Simon’s hand and let go of a long, hard breath.

“That stench was vile,” he grumbled.

“Tell me about it.”

“If I never smell that again it’ll be too soon.”

“You’re lucky you married a warlock. You can barf your soul out from portal travel instead.”

Alec scoffed. “It’s not that bad.” A thought occurred to him. He’d never travelled through a portal as a vampire. He grimaced. “Is it?”

Simon shrugged. “You’ll find out, I guess.”

The elevator made an ear-wrenchingly chipper pinging noise and the doors opened on the penthouse level.

Alec gritted his teeth and stepped out, ready to just get through the door and bury himself in the familiarity of his own home. He’d pick a strange blend of sandalwood, charcoal and Clorox a hundred times over the stench of several dozen combined nasty odors that permeated New York’s public transportation network.

Simon held him back at the entrance to the loft.

“Take it slow, remember?”

Alec nodded. He could do this.

He opened the door and stepped inside the loft. The first thing that hit him was the lack of windows. Magnus had turned every single one of them into the same red brick as the rest of the walls. The loft was bathed in the soft yellow glow of dozens of LED wall sconces.

Alec chuckled. He could almost hear the flippant saccharine drawl that there would be no accidental immolation for the husband of Magnus Lightwood-Bane, thank you very much.

“Magnus?” he called out into the vast open space beyond their foyer.

Alec forced himself to take calm and shallow breaths through his mouth. As long as he didn’t get carried away, he had his enhanced senses under control.

“I’m here.”

His husband’s voice came from the direction of the apothecary. Alec forced himself to take one slow step at a time. Every muscle in his body screamed at him to move faster.

The smell of sandalwood, sulfur, charcoal, and, yes, Clorox, was thick in the air, but there was something else. Something different. It sat on the back of Alec’s tongue like a taste he couldn’t describe but would instantly recognize anywhere.

Magnus stood at the door to the apothecary. He had dressed down for his standards in a moss green button-down shirt and black slacks. His face was bare of makeup, and his usually gel-spiked hair fell in a soft mess around his ears. The only jewelry he wore was the platinum wedding band on his left ring finger. He was nothing short of the most beautiful man in the world.

“I wasn’t sure if—”

Alec had crossed the distance in less than the blink of an eye. He was standing right in front of Magnus, afraid to touch him.

The taste at the back of his tongue took over everything else. It filled his nose, slipped down his throat, and expanded inside his lungs like bright blue fire. 

It hit him.

“I can taste your magic.”

His fangs unsheathed.

Alec reared back and slapped a hand over his mouth.

Magnus chuckled.

“It’s okay,” he said, and slowly reached up to pull Alec’s hand down. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

They both heard Simon let himself out and close the front door with a quiet click of the lock.

Alec felt like a teenager standing in front of his first love with an unexpected boner in his pants. Basically, the same way he had felt the first time he’d been left alone with Magnus in this very loft all those years ago.

If he had still been capable of blushing, he would have turned a vibrant shade of red. As it was, his husband’s hand felt burning hot against his tepid cheek. He leaned into the touch.

“No rings?” he asked roughly.

“The silver would hurt you.” Magnus kept his voice barely above a whisper.

The plain dark clothes. The natural hair. The lack of makeup and jewelry. Magnus had gone to every effort to protect Alec’s senses from being overwhelmed.

Alec sucked in an involuntary breath. Bright blue fire filled his lungs. His fangs still hadn’t retracted. He was afraid what would happen if he let himself move at all.

“The boys?”

Magnus’s thumb brushed over his cheek.

“They’re fine,” he murmured. “They’re staying over at Cat’s tonight.”

The gentle touch riled Alec up even as it calmed him down. He was stuck, too scared to breathe, no idea how to get past this.

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

Magnus shook his head. His thumb never stopped tracing Alec’s cheekbone.

“You won’t.” Magnus closed his eyes and opened them again with his demon mark on display. Bright yellow cat eyes glowed above a mischievous smile. “Not your average husband, remember?”

Alec nodded. Average was a word that did not apply to any part of Magnus Bane. Alec still didn’t trust himself to move, let alone put his hands on him.

Magnus tilted his head. His smile never wavered.

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

Alec hummed nervously. “My fangs.”

“It’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Alec closed his eyes.

“Always.”

He felt the gentle pressure of soft lips. A warm sensation, like taking a sip of his favorite tea at just the right temperature, slid over his teeth. His fangs withdrew. Alec snickered.

It wasn’t the first time Magnus had used his magic on Alec in an unexpected way, but this was an entirely new experience.

He remembered a moment, eons ago, when he’d stood across from someone – Izzy maybe? – and told them with a dopy smile unbecoming of a Shadowhunter that Magnus was quite magical.

Magnus flicked the tip of his tongue over Alec’s top lip before he pulled away with a grin.

“What’s so funny?”

Alec lost it. The snicker turned into helpless laughter.

“Magical kisses.”

He only realized he had moved when Magnus shimmied closer inside his arms and patted him on the chest.

“They come in handy for all kinds of situations,” Magnus purred.

“I bet they do.” Alec paused. “Wait. Did you use them on me at the Met?” 

“I would never.”

Magnus batted his lashes and gave him the cutesy-face he only ever pulled out when he was lying his ass off.

Alec huffed. “You totally did.”

Magnus writhed. “You were so tense.” 

“I was worse at home.”

“I tried. Max chased us out of the kitchen before I could finish.”

Alec shook his head, still laughing. Here he had thought the sudden sensation of calm when Magnus had fixed his bowtie and leaned in to kiss him was just him being a sentimental fool. 

“You know you won’t get away with stuff like that anymore now that I can taste it.”

Magnus shrugged. “What does it taste like?”

Alec pushed his tongue against his palate and smacked his lips.

“It’s difficult to describe. Bright blue fire? Warm tea. It really depends what you’re doing with it, I think.”

“Really?” Magnus’s brows went up. He wiggled closer, aligning their hips. “I think this calls for some thorough experimentation on the subject matter.”

Alec closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. Bright blue fire raced through his nose into his lungs and flared out straight to his core. His pants felt tight. His fangs popped out again.

“Doomed to sport permanent fang,” he muttered in abject embarrassment.

“Oh, Alexander.”

Alec was pretty sure Magnus was drawling his name like that on purpose. The thought was confirmed when his husband breathed a dirty little chuckle against his lips.

“I’m flattered.”

This time the magic didn’t feel like warm tea. It felt like spiced cider in his mouth, forcing his fangs back to make room for Magnus’s tongue. His husband was also shrewdly maneuvering Alec, pushing him backward toward their bedroom.

Alec barely had the good sense to stop them right before the back of his knees hit the foot end of the bed. He kept his arms tight around Magnus and forced himself to pull away from their heated kiss.

“Simon says to take it slow,” he croaked out.

Magnus narrowed his beautiful cat eyes, tilted his head to the side, and made a dismissive huffy noise.

“I was never any good at that game,” he said with a shrug. “In fact, I always flunked it on purpose.”

He pushed Alec in the chest and sent him sprawling on the mattress. Alec opened his mouth to protest, but then he tasted another mouthful of blue fire and felt his husband’s magic slither around his wrists.

“Magnus says it’s time to play.”

Alec didn’t have it in him to argue with that.

Settling into life as a vampire was difficult in none of the ways Alec had expected. His control around the rest of the family was iron-clad, but he couldn’t keep his fangs in check worth a damn around Magnus.

Alec missed food. That would probably never go away, but he wouldn’t trade eternity with Magnus for anything, not even for his favorite lasagna or the delicious ice-cream from that little place in Florence.

The hardest part to get used to was the enforced lack of sunlight. After only a day or two, Alec had lost what little pigment he’d had in his skin to begin with. The unearthly ashen white would take some getting used to. As would the lack of runes. Alec was playing around with the idea of getting tattoos to replace them.

Worse than the pallor or the lack of runes was the way his new limitation messed up their daily routine.

Magnus had handed over his position as High Warlock of Alicante to an old friend from Prague. He was back to servicing the magical needs of Downworlder clients on the regular, which meant a lot of daytime work hours outside the loft.

Alec tried to keep to a daytime schedule, but cooped up inside the loft was not his favorite place to be. He still hadn’t figured out what to do with himself now that he was a vampire. The least he could do was get out of the house, which meant a lot of nighttime wandering through the streets of Brooklyn.

He had tested out his vampire abilities on a few stray minor demons here and there. It was amusing enough but didn’t really do anything to make him feel better about his professional future.

Alec paced the living room, wishing for the umpteenth time that the uninterrupted massive brick walls weren’t necessary.

Jace still hadn’t talked to him. They hadn’t seen each other since the day Alec walked out of the New York Institute after his de-runing.

There was a firm knock on the door.

Alec stopped pacing and headed to the foyer. He wasn’t expecting anyone. Max and Rafe were on campus. Maybe Magnus had forgotten about a client coming over.

He was surprised to see Clary on the other side of the door. She had shoved her bright red hair into a haphazard updo. A couple of runes peeked out from the shawl collar of her mom-sweater. Her black leggings were spattered with a mixture of clay and paint. She looked frazzled.

Alec narrowed his eyes and crinkled his brows.

“The twins?” he asked knowingly.

Clary snarled and pushed her way into the loft. She stopped for a brief hug and a kiss to his cheek.

“Art class project. Don’t ask.” 

Alec didn’t. He’d been there, done that. He had numerous of the boys’ old school projects tucked away safely in boxes all over the loft. He closed the door and followed Clary into the living room.

“What are you doing here?”

She turned around, pushed her hands into her coat pockets, pulled them back out, and shoved them back in again. Then she made a nervous noise in her throat and bit down on her bottom lip while she stared at the ceiling.

“I don’t know how to say this,” she whined.

“Say what?”

“Bite me,” she blurted out.

Alec snorted. “What?”

“God, this is ridiculous.” She huffed and stomped her foot. “I only have a couple hours. Maryse took the twins shopping.”

Alec chuckled and shook his head. “Clary, you’re not making any sense.”

She pinned him with a look.

“Jace loves you,” she stated firmly, “but right now, he’s so wrapped up in his misery that he’s not thinking straight, and I’m sure he’ll come around eventually, but I’m not taking the chance that this ridiculous phase lasts through Stevie’s graduation, and I really need him back in the game with the twins for Christmas, so I need you to talk some sense into him, which is not going to happen while you’re relegated to nighttime hours.” She took a deep breath. “So, bite me.”

Alec laughed. “That was almost a Simon level rant.”

Clary rolled her eyes. “We’re best friends for a reason.”

Alec wasn’t sure what to say. He had never even considered asking Clary for her blood. Not after everything the angels had already done to her for creating unsanctioned runes.

“Are you sure this will even work?”

Clary squared her shoulders. “Jace did it for Simon. It’s my turn.”

Alec wondered if their hodgepodge clan would ever stop taking turns at things like saving individual family members from hell, transforming them into vampires, or turning them into Daylighters.

Why couldn’t they just take turns hosting Sunday barbeque like normal people?

Clary sniffed. “Don’t give me that look.”

Alec snapped out of his thoughts and raised his eyebrows.

“What look?”

She scoffed. “That look that says, ‘Clary Fairchild will you ever stop giving me stress-headaches and just settle down and be a good little Shadowhunter?’ We both know the answer to that is, ‘No, I won’t.’”

Alec straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Clary Lightwood-Herondale, will you stop putting words in my mouth?”

“Sure, just as soon as you let me shove my wrist in it.”

Alec’s jaw dropped in disbelief. Clary used the opportunity to step closer and hold her skinny arm up to his face.

“I mean it, Alec,” she said. “I need my husband back, and Jace needs his parabatai. Rune or no rune, so please, just bite me, and let’s get this done so we can be a normal screwed up family again.”

Alec grabbed her wrist and lowered it from his face.

“Let’s at least sit down first.”

“Fine.”

She pulled her hand away with a huff and took her coat off. The coat landed with a careless toss on the nearest armchair. Clary toed off her shoes and flopped dramatically down on the couch with one arm sprawled out in Alec’s direction.

“Come on,” she said impatiently. “It’ll be just like at the doctor’s office. Just get it done, give me a cookie, and I can be on my way.”

Alec shook his head, baffled. In moments like this, Clary reminded him of Jace with the flippant quips and the devil may care attitude. It was no wonder their love had produced hell-spawn offspring. 

He sat down on the coffee table and picked up Clary’s wrist. It felt fragile like bird bones in his grip.

“You know Jace is going to punch me for this.”

“I won’t let him.” Clary squared her jaw.

“Right.”

“Alec! Stop arguing and chow down.”

He relented against his better judgement. His fangs dropped as soon as he got close enough to see the blood throb inside the pale green veins.

The first taste was incredible.

Sweeter than anything he’d ever tasted, heady like the best wines Magnus had introduced him to in France. He drank in deep, sucking gulps and drained the precious liquid down his throat like he used to chug down water after a heavy training session.

A dull thumping heartbeat filled his ears. It sped up until it almost thrummed like bird wings before it slowed down to a steady, rolling pulse. Slower. Slower.

A heavy object hit him in the face.

Alec reared back and sped away as far as he could scramble. He sucked in deep, unnecessary breaths. The taste of blood was still all over his mouth and tongue.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

He couldn’t see Clary from where he was crouched on the kitchen floor behind the island.

“I’m fine!” Clary sounded grouchy and a bit slurred. “I broke one of Magnus’s thingies on your head.”

Magnus had a lot of thingies. Alec had no idea which one she had broken, but whatever it was, he would be eternally grateful for the sacrifice. He just hoped Magnus would see it the same way.

Alec wiped a hand over his mouth, pulled himself up to the kitchen sink, and forced himself to wash away the rest of the blood.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he called out into the living room.

“Where’s my cookie?” Clary called back.

He froze with both hands under the faucet.

“Are you serious?”

“Get me some orange juice, too.” She stumbled through the open doorway into the kitchen and plopped down on one of the barstools at the counter. “Maybe a sandwich? I feel woozy.”

She flopped dramatically over the counter. Her wrist was completely healed. She must have used an iratze on herself.

“Yeah,” he said dumbly. “Of course.”

He was already up to his elbows inside the fridge, grabbing lunchmeat, cheese, mayo, lettuce, and tomato.

“Crust or no crust?” he asked as he dropped everything on the counter in front of her and started making the sandwich.

Clary raised her head with a lopsided smile.

“I’m gonna milk this for years,” she said with a snicker. “Crust is fine.”

Alec didn’t have it in him to scowl at her. She could milk this for the rest of her short human lifespan. If it had worked.

He finished putting together the sandwich and even cut it diagonally before he pushed the plate at her and poured her a glass of orange juice.

Alec watched her scarf down the food like a starving dog.

“Please don’t choke to death after I managed to not kill you.” 

Clary glared up over the last bite of her sandwich. She barely waited until she’d swallowed to speak.

“I haven’t eaten since this morning, and your bread’s always so much better than at home.”

Alec smiled. “Magnus gets it fresh from Germany.”

Clary grumbled. “Cheater.”

“Warlock.”

“Same thing.”

“Like you’ve never used your powers just for fun.” 

Clary stuck her tongue out. She took a sip of orange juice and looked at him seriously.

“How do you feel?”

Alec shrugged. “Same?”

He had no idea if Clary’s blood had changed him. He wouldn’t find out until he tested it, and he wasn’t sure he was up for frying in the sun right now.

Clary sniffed. “No time like the present to find out.” She looked around and gaped. “Did Magnus seriously wall up all the windows?”

Alec rubbed one knuckle over the bridge of his nose.

“I almost accidentally toasted myself on day one,” he admitted.

She looked at him with an expression that was eerily reminiscent of Simon.

“Dumbass.”

Clary’s cell phone buzzed insistently in her pocket.

“Uh-oh.”

She pulled it out and checked it. Her face went from wryly amused to exasperated in record time.

“Shit. I gotta go pick up the twins. Maryse is going to skin them if I don’t.” She finished her orange juice in one big gulp and got up. “I love how they’re always _my_ children when they’re being bad, but they’re _her grandbabies_ when they make the honor roll.”

She was out of the kitchen before Alec could blink and back again with her coat in her hand.

“Well, come on!” she said with an impatient wave of her hand. “She’s your mother, too, and maybe if she sees you in direct sunlight, she’ll spare me the parental failure rant.”

Alec opened his mouth to protest.

Clary held up her wrist.

“I’m calling blood-buddies. Move!”

Alec forced himself into motion with more than a little trepidation. If worse came to worst, he would get a little singed in the lobby. He could still speed back to the loft if that happened.

He grabbed his keys and jacket and followed his bossy sister-in-law out of the loft into the no-doubt sunny October afternoon.

Maryse was undeniably struck speechless by the sight of Alec in direct sunlight. Clary used the opportunity to take a family picture of herself, Alec, Maryse, and the twins. She posted it on Instagram and tagged their whole clan.

The happy responses came fast and furious with the exception of one.

Alec helped Clary to wrangle the twins into her SUV. Then she wrangled Alec into the passenger seat and drove them to her and Jace’s place in SoHo.

He texted Magnus where he was going and promised his husband that he would try his best to come home alive.

Alec expected to be punched in the face before he made it through the skinny hallway on the ground floor of the three-story low-rise.

He did not expect to make it all the way into the living room only to have a dagger thrown in his face.

He caught it by the hilt out of reflex, and dropped it with a hiss, fangs out.

“Damnit, Jace!”

“No knives in the house!” one of the twins yelled from half-way up the stairs.

“You bit my wife!” Jace roared.

“I made him do it!” Clary yelled before she ushered the twins the rest of the way up.

Jace was no longer throwing blades at him, but he still looked ready to pummel Alec into next week.

Alec cringed. “I’m sorry.” 

Jace snorted derisively and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You got what you wanted, so what are you doing here?”

Alec looked at his parabatai. Jace looked like hell. The dark circles under his eyes ate their way halfway down his unshaved cheeks. His clothes were clean, but he’d put no effort into dressing himself. His T-shirt was older than Stevie, and his jeans sat loose on him. In the few weeks since Alec had last seen him, he’d obviously gone from stress-eating to a diet of alcohol and misery.

“This isn’t you, Jace.”

Jace scoffed. “This is me after you.”

“I’m right here you go—” Alec gagged on the word and used the unintentional muzzle to calm himself down before he said something stupid. “I didn’t go anywhere.”

Jace’s eyes gleamed with pain and stubbornness. His arms were crossed so tightly, Alec could see the muscles flex.

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

Alec sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Damnit, Jace.”

He did the only thing he could think of and hoped it wouldn’t get him staked. He crossed the room, grabbed Jace by the back of the neck, forcefully pulled him into a bearhug, and hung on for the fallout.

It took a good long moment, but when Jace finally came around, his arms nearly crushed Alec’s ribs where they closed around him.

“You smell like death,” he snarled into Alec’s neck.

“You smell like stale beer and misery,” Alec shot back.

“Asshole.”

“Jerk.”

Alec sighed and pulled back just far enough to look Jace in the eyes.

“I didn’t go anywhere and I’m not going to, either. You’re still my brother. My parabatai.”

Jace snorted. “It’s not the same.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “If you need us to get matching tattoos—”

“Screw you.”

Jace pushed him away, but then he grabbed a fistful of Alec’s shirt before he could get too far.

Alec sighed. “I know it hurts. Trust me, I feel it too, but we’re still here.” He motioned between them. “It’s not the same but it’s enough for me.”

He’d never thought he would be the one on this end of the conversation with Jace. He vividly remembered being on the receiving end of ‘I love you but not like that’ when they were young and maybe just a smidge dumber.

Jace ground his teeth together and bestowed him with a mulish glower. His fist was still clenched around Alec’s shirt. When Jace pulled, Alec didn’t resist.

“Entreat me not to leave thee,” Jace grumbled the words against his shoulder.

Alec hugged him back. “Or to return from following after thee.”

Jace tightened his grip. “For whither thou goest, I will go.”

“And where thou logest, I will lodge.”

“Thy people shall be my people and thy God my God.”

Alec swallowed. He couldn’t continue the traditional vows, but he could make his own.

“Let Edom take me if aught but death part thee and me.”

Jace nodded against his shoulder.

A loud sniffle from the staircase made Alec look up over Jace’s shoulder.

Clary was wiping tears out of her eyes.

“I’ve never wanted to create my own rune so bad.”

“Don’t you dare!” Alec and Jace threatened her at the same time.

Alec went home a couple hours later. The sun was still up while he walked the few blocks from the subway station to the brownstone. Being able to feel the warmth of sunlight again, even after only a few weeks, was indescribable.

He was almost reluctant to go back inside. If it wasn’t for the fact that Magnus and the boys were waiting for him, he would have just kept walking until the sun went down.

As soon as the front door swung open, Alec noticed the difference.

All the windows were back. A brilliant orange gleam bounced off the breathtaking view of the Brooklyn Bridge through the wide open balcony doors in the living room. 

“Damn, I missed this.”

Alec dropped his keys on the tray, and pulled off his jacket with a breath of relief. He walked out onto the balcony, knowing what he’d find.

Max was stretched out on his belly on the bricks, swinging his legs with his nose buried in a book. A few more sunny days like this, and he’d be surrounded by stray cats.

Rafe’s legs hung over the back of one of the patio chairs. He was upside down, with his head hanging off the seat, headphones in, feet dancing in the air to the music.

Magnus noticed him first from his seat on the patio couch with a drink in his hand and a smile on his face.

“Welcome home,” he drawled. “Did you have a good time at Jace and Clary’s?”

Alec rolled his eyes and leaned down to snatch a kiss.

“I survived.” He relaxed into the couch next to Magnus with a happy groan. “Obviously.”

Max looked up from his book. “Is Uncle Jace gonna be okay?”

Alec snorted. “Maybe once the twins are old enough to move out.”

Rafe pulled the buds out of his ears and twisted his upper body around in a way that should not be possible for a human being.

“Did Lita totally lose it when she saw you out in the sun?”

“She didn’t even lecture Clary.”

Rafe snickered.

Magnus hummed. “By the way, your sister stopped by earlier.”

“Yeah?”

Magnus snapped his fingers. A glass of gin martini heavily infused with blood appeared in his hand. Alec accepted it with a smile.

“What did she want?”

“To hug the stuffing out of you, mostly. But also something about ruining her favorite pair of stilettos?”

Alec cringed. He had completely forgotten about that. He tried to hide his embarrassment behind his glass, but it obviously wasn’t working to well, judging by the amused grin on his husband’s face.

Magnus snickered. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”

Alec buried his face in Magnus’s neck. He immediately felt the warm tea sensation of his husband’s magic keeping his fangs in check.

“Remember when Max was little, and he’d keep turning himself into a bat?”

“Uh-huh,” Magnus said slowly.

“And we’d keep finding _surprises_ in the oddest places?”

Magnus pulled back with a revolted grimace. “You didn’t!”

Alec ducked his head and nodded.

“Turns out it’s really hard to control your bodily functions when you’re a bat.”

“HAH!” Max’s triumphant shout was aimed at Rafe. “I told you! I told you it wasn’t my fault and that it’s not like wetting the bed, at all! Even Dad couldn’t control it!”

Rafe looked at Alec as if he’d lost a hero.

“So gross, Dad.”

Alec raised his brows. “Does that mean I can take my promise to turn you off the table?”

Rafe relented with a scowl.

“I didn’t say that.”

“While we’re on that subject.” Magnus crossed his arms and shifted his glare back and forth between Rafael and Alec. “Why didn’t anyone see fit to discuss this with me first?”

Rafe pushed the ball into Alec’s court quicker than lightning.

“Dad!”

“Magnus,” Alec said quietly. “Please, love, can we just shelve the subject for now? I gave him the speech and everything.”

Magnus raised one brow. “What speech?”

“You know,” Alec said with a shrug. “Live in the moment, enjoy it while it lasts, yadda, yadda.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s going to make a lasting impression.”

Alec pleaded with his eyes. He just wanted to enjoy the evening with his family. It was his first day as a Daylighter, and he’d already gone through the wringer once today.

Magnus rolled his eyes and exhaled the most dramatic sigh in the history of sighs.

“Fine.” He snapped his fingers for another round of drinks. “But don’t think I’ll just forget about this.”

Alec pressed his lips together to keep himself from saying anything. If personal history was any indication, Magnus was very likely to forget all about it until Rafe brought it up ten years from now. Maybe twenty.

He counted his blessings and leaned in for a chaste kiss.

“Thank you, love.” 

“You’re welcome, darling.”


End file.
